nc, i'm sorry that you are going thru such a rough time in your life right now...and i have no words of wisdom to share, except the trite but true 'time heals all wounds'...this group here is a great source of support for its members in good times and bad, and i hope that you will find support here...please, however, keep in mind, that there are folks who have been here quite a bit longer than you...most of them are able to put their opinions into words without calling names etc...(and these next comments are aimed at the list, not you particularly) we all have our own beliefs...the key is in being able to state those beliefs without belittling others who don't share those beliefs (anyone ever hear the adage, you win more flies with honey?) and i think that MOST of the people in this discussion have done that successfully...however, some folks have not been able to do so, and these are the people i am most upset with...i fall back to my most common comment during times of disagreement on this list...go listen to creed's 'one'...and then come back to the list, remembering what brought us all here together in the first place...